


Snapshots

by Synnerxx



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Angst, Drabble Collection, M/M, Snapshots
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-12-10
Updated: 2013-06-13
Packaged: 2017-11-20 19:31:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/588867
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Synnerxx/pseuds/Synnerxx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A series of interlinked drabbles that chronicle the relationship between John and Fin. Ratings and warnings subject to change.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Not Your Fault But Mine

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: Alone

Fin picks up his coat from the back of his chair and nods to Olivia and Elliot. "See you guys tomorrow."

John looks up from the file he's reading. "You're leaving early."

"No, I'm leaving on time. You've got the rest of the report covered, right?" Fin asks, shrugging the coat on.

"Yes. Why? You got a hot date?" John arches an eyebrow, the light glinting off of his glasses.

"As a matter of fact, I do and I don't want to keep her waiting." Fin smirks and then heads out of the squad room, nodding at Olivia and Elliot as they call out their goodbyes.

John very carefully doesn't react to the news that Fin has a date and finishes up the report he'd been writing up. He gathers all the files and returns them to their proper place in the folder and then hands it to the captain to sign off on. He heads back to his desk, glances over his files, and picks up his own coat.

Olivia and Elliot look up at him as he goes past, silent as a shadow in his dark suit and coat and they hesitate on saying anything to him. He glances at them and nods and they nod back before going back to their own work.

John allows himself a deep breath when he gets out side, the cold New York air filling his lungs and making him shiver slightly. He walks quickly and gets home to his apartment faster than usual.

He tugs his coat off and hangs it on the hook by the door and heads into the kitchen. He pours himself a glass of Scotch and sits down on his couch, staring out of the window. 

He knows that it's supposed to be nothing more than sex between them, nothing more than release, something to relieve the stress of the job when it gets to be too much, but John does what he always has. He's gotten too attached and now he's getting hurt all over again.

It's not even Fin's fault because Fin doesn't know what a mess John's made of all of this. 

John thinks that if he were braver, he'd tell Fin how he feels or at least break off their arrangement, but he can't do that because he's not that brave. 

So now he'll sit here in his empty, lonely apartment with only a glass of Scotch for company while Fin goes out with his date. He'll sit here and be bitter and old and lonely and hurt because he's too damn scared of his own feelings to just say something to Fin. 

No wonder his wives left him. 

Maybe it's better that he's alone. At least this way he's not hurting anyone but himself here. Fin doesn't deserve to have to deal with the mess that is John Munch anyway. No one does. 

It's better this way. At least that's what he's going to tell himself as he sits alone and lonely.


	2. Didn't I, My Dear?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Mistake

Fin laughs and smiles and nods in all the right places, but he's not really paying attention to the woman sitting across from him at the table. Sure, she's nice, pretty, and funny, but he's preoccupied with someone else. Someone who's not even there. 

His thoughts are still back with John in the squad room and the odd look in his eyes when Fin had told him that he had a date. There's no reason that John should care about Fin's romantic life. Him and John were just about sex. No strings attached, need a release now kind of sex.

Fin struggles to focus on his date, struggles to keep his thoughts away from John and on the woman in front of him. He remembers her name only because that's what he's trained to do and he listens with half an ear as she tells him about her work. She's a vet. 

He feels guilty, but he wishes it were John in front of him, all sarcastic comments and dark eyes hidden beneath glinting glasses. He wants John's hand curled around that wine glass, John's smile on him as he talks, John's knee brushing against his ever so often under the table. 

He wonders at himself for a moment. When something that was meant to be just physical turned into something emotional. He supposes it was inevitable. He already cares about John, being his partner and friend. Now it's just evolving into something more. 

He walks his date home. She doesn't live too far away. They get to her building and she invites him up for a cup of coffee and he looks at her for a moment and all he wants is John standing there, looking at him expectantly, waiting for his answer. Instead it's her and he has to gently turn her down. 

She nods, looking a little disappointed, but not much. She squeezes his arm and tells him she hopes he has good luck with whoever he's been thinking about. She smiles before he can say anything and heads into her building. She doesn't look back at him. 

He walks around the city for a while, noticing and not caring when his feet lead him to John's building. He supposes that was inevitable too. He stands outside for a while, looking up at the rows and rows of windows and imagining what John is doing inside. Maybe he's reading a case file or a book. Maybe he's in the shower. Maybe he's already in bed asleep.

Fin sighs and doesn't go in, doesn't push the buzzer, and doesn't end up inside of John's apartment for the night. He walks home slowly, thinking about what an idiot he is and how he should be braver because really, this is John and John knows him and he knows John.

He crawls into bed and wonders when he started making all of these mistakes in his life. Everything used to be easy and now it seems like one huge mistake.


	3. Too Dark To See

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Prompt: Embrace

Fin notices it, has always noticed since they first became partners. The death of children affects John more than anything else they see in their line of work. Not that he's indifferent to the rest of it, but there's something about children that gets to John more. 

Not for for the first time, Fin wonders why John never had any kids of his own. He's clearly good with them, more than capable of taking care of them, but Fin supposes that four ex-wives ruined that possibility for the other man. 

They head down to the ME's office for the report on the body and, as she's talking to them and showing them the various wounds on the body, Fin keeps a careful eye on John as he watches the man skim his eyes over the body and then away, nodding curtly as the ME keeps talking. John never gives the body of the ten year old girl more than a passing glance and his lips are pressed together in a thin line. The light flashes off of his glasses, making it hard to see his eyes. 

They walk out of the building into the icy wind of New York City and Fin stops John with a hand on his arm. "You okay?"

"Fine." John's unusually short answer gives Fin pause.

"You don't look like you're fine." Fin counters.

"Well, I am, so let's go. We need to talk to the parents again." John turns away from him and heads to the car. Fin sighs and follows him, getting into the driver's seat.

They interview the parents again, catch a lead on the babysitter, and chase it down. It doesn't help much, but it makes Fin feel like he's doing something important and useful and that's all he wants to do on this case, on any case.

John is looking over the case file at his desk and Fin sets a cup of coffee beside his hand without a word. John doesn't look up from the papers. Fin notices that he's turned all of the crime scene photos face down in a pile, unable to look at them for long. 

"We'll catch whoever did this." Fin says. 

John nods, but doesn't say anything.

Later on, Elliot and Olivia catch a break and it's the neighbor that did it. John snaps the cuffs on his wrists, hissing the Miranda into his ear as he shoves him along. 

After they've gotten the confession, John steps out of the interrogation room and leans against his desk, looking far older than he is. Cases like this always take it out of him, even when they do catch the sick bastards.

Fin catches up to him later as they're leaving for home and just wraps his arms around him, a tight embrace that probably confuses John, but he doesn't care. 

John stiffens under his touch, but then relaxes and hugs him back, content to let Fin comfort him for a moment the day they've all had.


	4. Plant Your Hope With Good Seeds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John is content and so is Fin.   
> Prompt: Silence

The silence stretches out between them, but it's comfortable, not awkward or forced. Fin presses closer to John on the bed, skin against skin and John allows it, though he's never been one for touching other people. It's nice, John muses. In a way that it maybe shouldn't be between them, but he's willing to take what he gets from the other man, so long as the quiet stays peaceful. 

Fin starts absently stroking a hand up and down John's back, lulling John even farther into sleep as he sinks into the warmth of the other man and the softness of the blankets around them. His leg brushes against Fin's when he shifts around so he's facing Fin and he finds that he doesn't mind. 

It's strange that he finds the most comfort in just laying here in silence with Fin of all people when he couldn't find the same comfort with any of his ex-wives. It's almost funny that it's Fin that he ends up with and it's with Fin that it works the best. It's not always easy, they're far too complicated for that, but it works in a way it never has with anyone else and that's good enough for John.

He supposes he loves Fin, though it's rarely said between them. He knows he loves him. It's not necessary for them to say it every day, the phrase usually reserved for close calls and times of desperation and there are usually life threatening circumstances that prompt the declaration. It doesn't cheapen the effect or make it any less meaningful. 

He wonders how long this will last. He's pretty sure it'll last a good long while. He's got a good feeling about this, see, but all the same he wonders. It occurs to him that if he were to lose Fin to someone else or just lose him at all, he'd be miserable about it. He wonders how the other man managed to work his way so far under his skin that he means this much to him, but he doesn't question it much anymore. He's content with the way things are.

Fin presses against John even more as he settles down and slings his arm across John's waist. John blinks at him sleepily and gets a soft kiss for his efforts. He smiles into the kiss and slides closer to Fin until they're pressed flush against each other, bare skin against bare skin. It's nice and it's comforting and it's everything John thinks one is supposed to feel when they're in a relationship with someone. So of course he only feels that way with Fin. Such is his life, after all.

Still he wouldn't trade it for anything. He wouldn't trade Fin for anything even if their fights are explosive and they know how to tear each other down. The words after are loving and they know how to build each other up. 

They are two pieces of a whole and they work best functioning together.


	5. Take Me Where I've Never Been

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John discovers something new about Fin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Prompts: hands at 50scenes and exhibitionism/vehicular at bdsm_fandom lottery.

John stares down at the hand wrapped around his dick, wondering why Fin even thinks this was a good idea. Sure, it feels great, but they're sitting in the car in the middle of the day and anyone could walk by and see this. Anyone could see Fin's hand curled around him, stroking him just how he likes it, firm grasp, slight turn of the wrist on the upstroke. He clenches his teeth and hisses, not wanting to look over at Fin and see the smug smirk that he knows is on the other man's lips.

They're parked outside their apartment building and there are people crossing the street in front of them; people walking on the sidewalk beside them. Anyone could look over and see. Well, no, they really couldn't see unless they peered right up against the windows because of the dark tinting on the windows, but the very thought of someone even guessing at what they're doing gives John a thrill down his spine. 

"Didn't know you had an exhibitionist kink, Fin." John manages to sound calm despite the increased speed of Fin's hand on his cock.

"Yeah, well, now you know." John can hear the smug tone of Fin's voice as he swipes his thumb across the head of John's cock.

They're sitting in the middle of a crowded street in their car in broad daylight. This is crazy. John knows this is crazy, but that thrill still turns him on more than before. There's just something so exciting about the thought of someone maybe seeing, maybe catching him caught up in the heady sexual pleasure of Fin's hand on his cock that sends sparks up his spine and down into his dick.

John grabs the door handle and squeezes, inhaling sharply as he feels his orgasm beginning to build up; the familiar tightening of his balls, the sharp tingle in his spine, his hips rocking upward into Fin's hand.

"Gonna come, aren't you?" Fin's voice is suddenly much closer and John pries his eyes open to look (when did he close them?) and Fin is leaning across the console and grinning at him.

John doesn't answer because Fin is rubbing his thumb across the head of his dick and Fin knows what that does to him. He tips his head back against the headrest, arches his hips up, and then his orgasm is hitting him hard. Fin is ready for it because he catches the mess in a napkin he had pulled from the glove box when John wasn't looking and then cleans up John's softening cock. He tucks him back inside of his pants and zips him up. John can only focus on Fin's hands moving deftly as he comes down from his high.

"You okay?" Fin asks, other hand touching John's cheek briefly.

"Fine." John nods quickly, pushing his glasses back up his nose.

"Ready to go?" Fin unbuckles his seatbelt when John nods and they get out and head inside their apartment.


End file.
